Small penises have feelings too.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
