we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
