Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
