I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm bleeding and have questions
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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