I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
