C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
