I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
