anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize