Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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