I wannas sexs uuuuu
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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