he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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