Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
