I am in a vortex of obligation.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
