I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
