I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
