Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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