Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
