I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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