just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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