but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
