new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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