it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
