I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
