I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Randomize
