im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
as a side note pls kill me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
