quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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