This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
