you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There's always time for handjobs
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
