That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
