I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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