I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
