It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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