i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
