You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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