How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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