Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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