Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Are we still banned from the library?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize