you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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