so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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