wakey wakey hands off snakey
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
