We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
