I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
