i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
someone owes me an orgasm
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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