was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
