Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
