i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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