i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
