i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
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