I can tuck mytits in my pants
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Shame is for Republicans.
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