Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
