Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
did i walk over a car last night?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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