the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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