okay pat passed out under dana's car
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
