I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
