We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
