Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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