white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
