He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
