yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
