they need to just BURY HIM!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
