my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
