my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
