there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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