he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
