a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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