YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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